The Magic of Therapy
Another week, another Friday passes. Today, I am going to discuss the magical (yes, magical) nature of therapy and the work that we do in that room. I often compare therapy and the power of words with the power of magic, and I shall endeavour to expound the reasons for my firm belief in this magic.
Firstly, let us understand magic. It is a transformative and influential power that has the ability to change, alter or completely shift an aspect of this plane of existence. For example, if I speak the words, “Haji Maji Low Taradji” and wave my hands thus, this pair of gloves will disappear! Et voila! They have disappeared. How marvellous. Now, I do not mistake magic with sleight of hand or illusion, that is a false kind of magic, which gives the impression of the change, without actually accomplishing the change honestly. True magic is actually, genuinely, making the gloves disappear.
Now think of words. Think of the creative and destructive power that our words have. Tell someone “I have always loved you, you shine like a star in the darkest of nights and you are the soothing balm to my aching heart. The world is brighter with you in it, and in my prayers of gratitude, your name is often present and frequently mentioned”. What do you think will happen to the internal state of that person? May their heart glow warmly? May a smile rest upon their lips? May they stand a little taller and feel a little brighter in their visage? In their life, they may carry the power of that statement and in darker moments, think back to your words and hold them as a lifeline of hope and light amidst the despair. You have given them strength, confidence, resilience, power and trust. And these qualities, my dear readers, are absolutely priceless and unspeakably powerful.
You, with just a few heartfelt words, have made magic. True, genuine magic. A change has occurred in this world, this plane of existence, because of the energy, authenticity and genuineness you have imbued your words with. You have touched someone’s heart, and helped them to feel more alive, more real, more worthy. Had you said those words with no true passion or feeling, not meaning any of the words, but saying them because they sound pretty, ahhhh well that is illusion and sleight of hand. The change in the other’s heart will not occur, or if it does, it is not be long-lasting, because your actions do not corroborate the words you say.
Intention matters when it comes to magic, for coherence and consistency help the power of the magic to be sustained, and to even grow over time.
Now, take the destructive nature of words. “You will never be able to do it, I told you, you were a failure and absolutely pathetic. Why do you even bother trying? The world would be better without you in it, you are just a waste of space and oxygen”. It hurt my heart a little to even type those words out, that is how dangerous and powerful statements like the one above can be. What would happen to the heart and soul of the person receiving those words? Would they go for that new job? Open their heart to that new relationship? How would they carry themselves day to day? How would they interact with the world around them?
If someone has received enough of the positive power of words, they can withstand such attacks. This is the magic in action, think of a protective forcefield that repels the negative energy away (I love to imagine the scene in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, where Harry thinks of the happiest moment of his life and yells out EXPECTO PATRONUM - and a protective animal of light bursts from his wand to repel the haunting dementors who come to feast on your misery). These individuals have a healthy reservoir of confidence, self esteem and self compassion to enable them to repel these damaging words, saying to them “Leave from my threshold, you will not enter my home. You are not welcome here. Only light, hope, goodness, patience, kindness and honesty are welcome here. Take your evil, destructive nature and leave at once! I already have tenants here who are very pleasant to me”.
Magic awaits us in the most ordinary of places.
What kind of magician will you be?
An agent of darkness or a guardian of light?
In the therapy room, think of me as your magic tutor. I teach you how to phrase the right words, string together the right magical enchantment, apply the right rituals, to bring about the change that you are seeking to implement in your life.
Tala, I wish to learn to start going for a run every morning. Amazing! Here are the words and rituals you need to practice every day to be able to access the right kind of magical power, finding energy, the will to change and inner strength to get up and go for that run.
You might chuckle to yourself and say, okay but that is just silly. Going for a run has nothing to do with magic, you just need to stop being lazy and want it bad enough. Okay, but you try going for a run when your inner voice is saying “What’s the point? It is so cold and dark outside, and who even cares? You’re never going to be able to run for more than 5 minutes. And I am just going to get old and can’t run anymore, so I will have to stop eventually. If I just stay in my warm, comfy bed, who is that hurting? Isn’t five more minutes of sleep better than a stupid 20 minute run, anyways?
If you can still get up and run with that dialogue going in your mind, then all the power to you! That’s wonderful. I know I cannot.
The best way to use magic in your life is to follow these very clear steps:
Identify your goal clearly. Envision it in your mind in as much detail as you can possibly muster (visualisation helps with the magical connection).
Find the words that get you as possibly close to your goal as you can get.
Repeat those words over and over until you start to see the effects of your magical enchantment and feel yourself getting closer to your goal.
Find any ritualistic behaviours you can do that support and enhance the magical charm of your words.
Repeat the words and the rituals over and over until you have accomplished your goal.
This is the magical recipe to life.
Let’s see this in action.
I want to learn how to play the Oud. I see myself playing it, I see myself holding the instrument, strumming the strings, making the melody. I feel the weight of it in my lap, smell the richness of the timber, the smoothness of its bowl, the tautness of the strings. It is there, with me, and I am making music.
“I can do it. I just need to practice and start small, just learning one new chord a day, in one year, I would have learned 365 chords (if that many exist). Yes, it will hurt and be tedious and I might get bored and frustrated, but making music is important to me. My soul needs a new language to express itself and think of how emotionally meaningfully it would be, to be able to make music. You deserve to learn this skill and your life deserves to have more beauty in it. You are allowed to prioritise your pleasure, your joy and you artful, creative self expression. I believe in you, you can do it! Let’s look into it today, nothing is stopping me. I can start right now. I will be grateful I started now rather than later. Let’s go!”
I can purchase the instrument and start practising every day. If I just pick it up and run a few exercises, that is better than nothing.
Repeat until I have achieved the goal and can play the Oud.
“There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle”
- Albert Einstein
Therapeutic Skill of the Week
Let us practice the magic of positive affirmations.
Repeat this 10 times out loud, and notice the magic effects of what happens in your body and to your mind.
I have the power to create a life that feels alive.
One small change now leads to big change later.
I am ready to grow beyond what once held me back.
Life is calling me forward, and I am ready to answer.
I choose movement over fear, and possibility over doubt.
Make your own!
Notice the effects of the words on your body, on the state of your mind, and feel the magical effects of this repeated enchantment on your life.
Poetic Reflections
"Call a boy a gentlemen and watch his shoulders straighten.Call a girl a lady and watch her spirit turn graceful.
Humanity was brought into existence by God speaking words into the void of the universe.
We tend to become what we are called.”
- The Medicine of Hope
Why not make life magical? Find the magic in your life, it is all around you, waiting to be witnessed.
In your one precious life, don’t be a muggle.
With patience, hope and kindness,
Tala Mansour.